i moved thru life wondering if it held any meaning, what it held for me, would i be remembered, would i be loved? or am i just a passing phase in the circle of life? my sense of aimlessness and meaningless wandering was turned about the moment my gaze rested on this singular lady for the first time in my life, her character taller than mine, her personality far mature than mine, a halo of calmness and peace permeated all those around, and i wondered if i was worthy of seeking her hand and it turned out to be we were destined for each other, we shared so much in common, we understood each other better than anyone else... that perfect someone, which everyone thought impossible, including ourselves yet another reminder that Jesus loves the little children, the guy who was labelled "the fool" by kith and kin, the guy who all the teachers' wrote off as "a day-dreamer. and will amount to nothing", the guy who felt so lonely and unloved, and imperfect...
has his life all changed in one moment a sense of renewed purpose, hope, and peace... re-born we would never meet was it not for the constant tears and prayers of our parents and siblings i wonder if i'm dreaming!!! naaaaah i'm not :-)

The Slump

Life seems to go on in a never ending cycle of fun, food, sleep, prayer, sickness, studies, work and sadness. But some way along the line we find we've reached a slump, or a certain something that envelopes our whole being. It so engulfs us that we feel all the mundane has suddenly ceased to exist. We feel let-down, down-trodden, deserted and very much insecure that it not only leaves us brooding over this seemingly widening hole, but paralyzes our capacity to think freely. It empowers us to the extent that we are overcome by this thought process rendering us incapacitated beyond our logic and reason. We even feel that we've wasted away a whole life time, that we've been on our life journey pointlessly, that all the time and effort we've put in so selflessly and earnestly has become the source of our despair.
It's in this low point that a few words of wisdom and a relieving perspective of life was pointed out to me by a highly respected individual more of my mentor, friend and big brother at my place of work, enlightened me over lunch with the philosophy of "Hakuna Matata" written by Tim Rice for the animated motion picture The Lion King

Hakuna Matata!
What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata!
Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries
For the rest of your days
It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!

An awesome feeling to be able to sing it out and bask in the glory of life's slumps which might look as much insignificant to begin with, but are in reality sure-footed stepping stones that will help us sail smoothly on through the pleasant gift of life.

So...
Hakuna Matata to y'all!
God bless

TRUTH??

I enter scared, confused, lonely and with a complete feeling of insecurity. My fingers turn white as I clutch on to the truth, but even truth gives me no respite from this foreboding place. Its inner gloom transcends its outward beauty. I enter, bereft of peace. I see there many others such as myself, those who have come before me, seeking exactly what I seek, but it will be denied. Denied not because we stand against it, but denied because we cannot ‘afford’ it. This is a place where the first thing you would notice is the multitude of men and women in black coats and cloaks floating past you. More like bats, busy draining the life-blood of the innocent and greedily living-off the luxury of the guilty. They claim they will advocate your case and sweep the judge right off his feet and a verdict will be made in favour of the truth you hold on to, but it’s a scam, a farce. But yet you go on hopefully, dreaming that the truth shall set you free. But it isn’t our destiny as we can’t afford to handle the ‘truth’ because we cannot own it. This is a place where truth can be persuaded, influenced, forged and even bought at a price. This is the kind of ‘justice’ you would experience prevailing in the courts of our nation. A nation whose ‘truth’ is as diverse as its culture. But this form of justice permeates into the society we live in, our educational institutions and sadly our work place. We feel left out, forgotten, used, drained and discarded. We cease to exist.

But a positive note still remains, regardless of the prevailing gloom, truth will prevail, it most assuredly shall set you free, if not in this world, most assuredly in the next.

O Lord...

Lord grant me the
Courage
to change the things I can,
Serenity
to accept the things I can't
and
Wisdom
to know the difference

The Restored Soul

Sometimes through our journey of life we come across this bump in the road that shakes up our life so damn badly that it shakes the very foundation on which we have built it. We go through life as we would flip through a book... thinking that after each page lies another page waiting to be flipped... that life will go on as it has till now. But in the lives of a chosen few, life isn't always as smooth as flipping through a book... as some of the pages in their book seem torn off... ripped out permanently. All that such people have is to flip through the fine smooth pages they carelessly flipped away in the past and cherish each moment passed... digging up memories long forgotten so as to remind themselves that life wasn't always as dark as it now is... there were happy times...

But to dwelve on the past is meaningless... and to spend one's life there would be an utter waste... but wise is he who gathers strength from the darkness and gloom to turn the pages that lay ahead of him... for from then on he is free from all fear.. as he can turn through life's pages with courage and a determined spirit... a spirit that has gone through the fire and has come out refined... restored. For a restored spirit is far better... no... far greater than a whole body!! For what profit is the flesh which will perish and wither away... it is a higher call to have a restored spirit that will live on through eternity...

My body may fail... my bones may crack... I may be plagued by spasms of pain... my vision might falter... but my soul will live on... for it will not faint or grow weary... life's bumps and holes may try to crush it but my soul will be victorious for I draw my strength form the one who has given it to me... the Author and Restorer of my soul.

M y Saviour and my King!!

Friends are Destined to be...

I've got an awesome friend... humorous and funloving... at the same time an exceptional self-taught programmer... I prefer to call him a genius... as he has taught me much and still does. Now this friend of mine has been working for quite some time with this fast budding IT company whose employees had never seen my friends face-to-face... but they had seen and admired his work.

The Director and Founder of this company (also my friend... a "one-of-a-kind" kinda guy... for his multi faceted abilities and undying calmness and rock-solid presence of mind... no matter what!!) had seen him... talked to him... trained him... and seems very much satisfied with his performance.

So as the proposal of this company to meet my friend kept on being postponed due to unforseen reasons... it materialised atlast as a 14 person trip to his home, some 260kms away.

I believe it was more our destiny to be with him than it was his to be with us...

On the auspicious day... the journey began... all had taken extra effort to be their best... some even spent sleepless nights scheduling and organising the trip. They did their best to make it as perfect and hassle-free as possible... which was evidently fulfilled.

The journey though a happy one, had an air of mystery... suspense, rather, as none of them knew what to expect... they had never seen him... but those thoughts drowned in the lively music, painstakingly selected the previous night. We stopped for breakfast... I ate heartily.... and got to know the rest of the team... I had seen them... but never interacted with them... each one of them unique.

After 5 long hours and also the problem put up by me for having to stop twice or thrice to strech my legs... we reached our destination. All suspense was blown away and replaced with a time of fun and laughter. Then my friend's mum and his grandmum brought in refreshments and all of us digged in... his dad narrated a story... which at the moment sounded incoherent to me as I was deeply engrossed in the huge piece of chicken pastry and the nut filled cream cake which was mouth watering. Most pleasant of all was observing how the others ate... amusing, really!

But then a silence reigned throughout and my friend and i did our best to break the monotony by taking snaps of those present... half eating... half talkin... half sleeping... The silence was turned to laughter when they saw the kind of pictures we took and as we pointed out the various humorous expressions made by each...

After which we all gathered together for an extensive photo session... and then prepared for a brief departure... I wonder if all of them shook his hand... must've fallen off in the process.

They all came in doubt and left content to have found a team-mate... and more importantly a friend.

The visit was short and sweet.

I wish we had gone earlier...